Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life. What you speak about, you can bring about.

If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job.

If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick.

If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.

If you keep saying you're broke, guess what? You'll always be broke.

If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you.

If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed.

If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs.

If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in a relationship, then you might end up with it.

Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power-packed with faith, hope, love and action. Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.

 Watch your Thoughts, they become words.

 Watch your words, they become actions.

 Watch your actions, they become habits.

 Watch your Habits, they become character.

 Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.

 The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for.

Finally, in the search for me, I discovered truth.

In the search for truth, I discovered love.

In the search for love, I discovered God.

And in God, I have found everything.

I found this on a blog that I was reading today, and it really stood out to me in light of things that have happened in my life and things that are happening now. I just thought that it was pretty and I found myself inspired by it. I love the way it starts with so much discontent and displeasure, and it ends with perfect peace, AND GOD...

I am going to keep this blog going just as it has been, but for those who need my new blog or just want to check it out ... go to http://biblestudent.blogstream.com and check it out!

Today I was reading on a blog that curiosity sparked me to look at. The author was talking about some verses from the bible (Jeremiah 18:1-4) and I was very moved. The verses go like this:

1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

She talked about seeing herself as the clay and GOD as the potter. Since my personal anthem is "The Potter's Hand" by Rebecca St. James, the post really stood out to me, and as I have been struggling with anger and melancholy lately, I found it to be a beautiful visual. I believe that it will surely beat counting to ten, right Napalm?

Well I am going to give it the old college try, I'm sure that when I am angry, if I will just place myself in GOD's hands and let him mold me again in His likeness, then my anger will fade away and I will be once again filled with the light and hope of GOD. Thanks Sharman!

So for the third time I'm typing this post, and I am getting pretty friggin' pissed. Every now and then, I'll just be typing, and my damn post will disappear! It's more than a little annoying...

Any-friggin'-ways ...

Today was REALLY long. So long that I actually feel older now than I did this morning by a significant margin. Not good. It seems like nothing is working for me lately... Nothing. My routine is off, because Ryan has been home sick for two days. I'm glad for the extra time with him because I miss him when he's gone, but it's weird for my days to be so out of whack. The day to day routine is usually annoyingly unchanging. So there's some of it ...

Joey is coming off of having strep throat so that was horrible and she's still crabby and rebellious. But she did learn to say "throat", even though it sounds much more like "fu-low." Cute, so cute. But that's like the tiny ray of sunshine in a four-million foot well that has the cover on crooked. Finances right now ... Let's just say there is some stress ... only because of my dad, but I think he might be keeping a really big secret from me ...

Hey, that just makes it worse, so let's skip that part...

And I feel guilty for neglecting my best friend ... Jesus. I have not been joking when I say that I am new to this, so here's the problem-o. GOD and I have been real chatty lately, but isn't Jesus the way? So I need to know him too, right? And he's worthy of the attention and the praise, after all he DID die for me and my horrible, filthy sins. But I have realized lately that while I'm talking it out with GOD and wondering if he's listening, Jesus is probably off reading somewhere, just waiting for me to say, "Hey, wanna chat?" So what the heck is up with that? When it's Jesus, you can't cut out the middle-man. He's the way to GOD, he's the one who did the die-ing! He's the ONE! And GOD is probably like, "Why do you speak to me and ignore my son, who selflessly sacrificed his own body on the cross for you? Moron ..."

We sang a song in church on Sunday morning that really touched me. I kept getting shivers, and my eyes kept watering. I literally had to fight not to cry... I am NOT a crier, so the song has really stuck with me this week. Jared Anderson sings it, and it's called "Rescue."

You are the source of life

I can't be left behind

No one else will do

I will take hold of you

I need you Jesus

Come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by

Which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow you

You are the source

You are the source of life

And I can't be left behind

No one else will do

I will take hold of you

Cause I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by

Which I am saved

Oh, Capture me with grace

And I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Tell me, where else can I go?

There's no other name by

Which I am saved

Oh, capture me with grace

I will follow you

I will follow you

I will follow you

This world has nothing for me

I will follow you

This world has nothing for me

I will follow you

This world has nothing for me

I'm gonna follow you

This world has nothing for me

I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Oh, where else can I go?

There's no other name by

Which I am saved

Won't you capture me with grace?

Oh, capture

Capture me with grace

Capture me with grace

I will follow you

I will follow you

 

Isn't that so pretty? Well, I guess it's better to hear it than read it, but that's it anyway. It's been kind of a prayer for me lately. It's my song of choice, my prayer, my plea, it's what I do when I can't count to ten anymore. It's helping, I think. After typing it three times I DO feel better ... LOL. It helps me to clear my thoughts, and think about what really matters. Have you ever heard that saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff?" Well this week, that song is helping me to remember not to sweat the small stuff ... I have far bigger stuff to sweat at the moment.

For those of you who noticed in my profile that my birthday was Friday... Thanks for sending me the birthday wishes! I appreciate that, and for those who asked, here's the rundown...

I woke up OLDER!

I also got my romantic switch flipped that evening. When Ryan got home from work, he was a little more than late, so I knew he was up to something. He'd been out card-shopping. His card was so sweet...

"A wife is Loved (He calls me his wife because he says he thinks of me that way already. I don't mind, and I even mostly like it, because he actually makes me feel like a wife.) For so many reasons... All of them wonderful. I love you for all we've shared and for all we have yet to experience... I love you for all you've shown me and for all we've discovered side-by-side... I love you for all you are and for all we are together."

Sweet, huh? He bought one from Joey too! He says that she can't pick one yet, so he was helping her out. I know that that's a fairly common gesture, but not for him. He doesn't have kids, other than taking on Joey, so this is all new to him. I thought it was sweet anyway. And that one was a perfect pick, too. It was great for a mom who sometimes wonders if I'm really doing right, if I'm ruining her and maybe I just don't know it. If maybe when my dad teases and says he thinks she must be spoiled by now, what if he's right? The card was all, "Mommy I love you, you are the best..." and such lovey things.

He took me to my fave restaurant and a movie. Nothing extensive, and not my concert, but we ended up having a great time together and that was what mattered to us.

And dad, he sent a perfect gift. And his card made me cry like a baby! Those of you who read regularly (Shoutout: Hey Napalm!) will understand:

"My Daughter, My Friend." Let the waterworks begin... "When I look at you, I quietly wonder how a parent could be so lucky. You are truly a double blessing - both a daughter and a friend." By this time, I had to wipe my eyes because I couldn't see. These are totally my favorite kinds of cards. They're personal, they speak out to you ... to your heart. I love my dad! "And with every year, I realize all the more how rich you've made my life... and how I love you so." Then it followed with Happy Birthday and some personal stuff, but the general thing is that I had a great day, and it followed into a great weekend. The eternal bad mood seems to have let up a little and I am not so melancholy anymore.

So I'm ... what was it? Oh yeah ... "Happy, happy, happy!"

And GOD, thank you. I know we haven't talked enough lately. Trust me, there is definitely a huge catch-up session in the making. I love you, Father, and I have missed you...