I read a quote this morning that just about sums up why I have been so down and out these days ...I didn't realize it until I read it, but it pointed out to me that I am one of millions of people who take miracles for granted every day. I knew it before, but there really is nothing like having your head unceremoniously jerked from your @$$ right?

Today, I will strive to find the miracle ... the blessing in everything that I see around me. I know that it will keep me upbeat ... for there truly is a miracle in everything around all of us. GOD thinks to give it to us, and that fact that he has space in his thoughts for each of us individually is a miracle in itself.

Here's the quote:

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." - Albert Einstein, physicist

Here is the article that came with it:

Seeing the wonder in the smallest details - What do you appreciate and what do you ignore? Is a sunrise any less special because its image wouldn't make it on a magazine cover? Is any day less precious because, in your mind, "nothing special" happened? For some reason, it's hard to be impressed with anything these days. Driving a car is a source of strain instead of wonder. The internet is already old news. Quick—when was the last time you paid attention to a space shuttle flight? Remember when that was all people could talk about? Once you take something for granted, you also take the life out of it. When nothing is "special," boredom and gloom aren't far behind. Look around where you're sitting right now, and try to see it for the first time, like a child would. Think about the human potential that created the stuff in the room. Think about the miracles of nature right outside your window. Think about how amazing it is that you're even here to see it.

Hope that you guys all have a great day ... It sure is good to be back.

The wedding talk between Ryan and I has been on-off-on-off since a long, long time ago (it seems). It was on when we realized that we love each other ... It was off when I got all excited and couldn't shut up, and he got all thoughtful and had nothing to say.

We've been talking a little more lately, and he says that he is excited, but that he just doesn't get all girly like me .... And that's okay. But since I am limited on my girly folks to chatter to, here I am.

We really have made some progress with plans this time. Last time we got to talking about getting married, we decided on a few readings that we need to choose between, and some sets of vows to choose between. For those of you out there who are traditional to a T, or they used that stuff in their wedding ... no offense, okay? That just isn't for me. I want something original ... I might even write our vows myself. I am changing so much of the ceremony to make it fit us and our personalities...

And with no one to ask for advice ... no one to talk to about it!!!!

My mom? Yeah right! I called her the other day and asked her if it would be okay for me to send her some pictures of wedding gowns for her to look at and see what her opinions were. Her opinion didn't need a photo ... it was, "Oh, my god, are you nuts? You're not getting into that marriage mess again are you?" What did she think ... that Ryan has my daughter calling him daddy just because he thinks that she's cute? Uh, no. He did it because he loves her, because he loves me ...

But I digress. I wanted to go somewhere and be all girly about the progress of our plans ... So anyway, like I said, last time we got some little stuff figured ... Now we are getting down to real things. Big, huge, frightening things, like setting a budget and making it happen ... and picking a date. We haven't done that yet either.

This time, though? We are getting so much farther. I have a huge file on our computer full of pictures of gowns and shoes and hair styles and stuff like that. I went "shopping" for photographers today, and when I saw how RIDICULOUS the prices are ... I got to thinking of how to make it more affordable and still have lots of photos.

We are going to buy a boat-load of disposable cameras and put a few on each table, plus give some to a select few people for during the ceremony. We will ask everyone to pass the cameras around and leave them at the end so we can develop them. We think it would be a great way to invlove our guests, and it is a good excuse for me to keep the alcohol drinking to a minimum. My father is also an amateur photographer ... and lucky thing, so is Ryan's dad. So we should be okay there.

We want to use my church, so that shouldn't be too expensive. We also want to use the church for the reception, so that is another fee that will be smaller, if it ends up being charged at all. I thought of tons of ways to make things more affordable and make the budget less scary, and then today, Ryan says, "Well, honey, who cares about the budget?"



Last night, he hated the budget. Because it is big. A big budget equals some time before we actually can get married. Today ... "Don't worry honey?" Grrrr. How come men say one thing one day and a different thing the nest day? Then the next day, they revert to what they said before? Grrrrr. And they say that WE are contrary.

I love him. Anyways, I wanted to show you guys our site that we made, too. It is really cool, and has a link to our registry and stuff like that. So anyone out there who is getting married that reads this? Check out www.weddingchannel.com. That is where I went to start our site, and the registry and all of that. Our actual site, for those who want to see it? That is http://bkennedyandrdillman.weddings.com. But don't pay attention to the date that is on there ... It changes every time we talk about it ... that is one place that we made no progress. So far the actual planned date is "When we can afford it."

But I was excited and all my buddies are like me ... tired this late in the day, and SO SO not up to my new bubbly chatty self. So here I was, but now I am off to play cards with the hubby-to-be guy. Have a good one, everyone!

Well, I haven't been posting as much anymore because I started two other blogs. I had my bible studies in a separate blog, and I had some prayers on another blog called "Tea Time with GOD." I ended up deactivating both of those ... because of this blog.

It turns out that when I only post about GOD on one of my specific "religion" blogs ... I don't have much else to say. I ended up slacking majorly on my bible studies because if I couldn't post it or write it to post later, I wouldn't do it. And it just got to be a bit of a hassle for me ... I would want to read at times when I couldn't post. So I wouldn't read. I am going to keep doing my studies and just post my major thoughts, things that really inspire me to post. Other than that ... my thoughts on that are just that. My thoughts.

I got into a bit of a debate with Big Chris (Some of you know him) and that was really fun for me. It was a chance for me to learn more, and to learn how to use it to combat spiritual attacks. It was a way for me to learn to do what Jesus did ... use the words of GOD to defend my faith ... and if need be, to defend myself. For that ... if you are reading ... Thanks, Chris. Maybe in some ways, we both needed that little spat.

Anyway, I think that now that I re-simplified thing, I will be back to posting. So for those of you who have emailed and PM'ed me ... I'm back I think ....

However ... when I have a prayer that I want to record, or a bible study that really touches me ... I will be posting it here. On a day that I want to talk openly about GOD ... I will. Anyone who thinks they might find that offensive are welcome to skip those posts ... or skip this blog. It is MY space, for MY thoughts. I welcome you to your own thoughts, and I expect the same courtesy. So to you ... good luck with your spirit ... for if GOD offends you, you'll need it.

More updates as they come ...

I found this just now on an old blog that I had ... I started laughing and couldn't stop ...

"Stupid Weddings"

So Ryan and I are talking more and more lately about the whole wedding type thing. Like we talk about it, and we checked out books from the library about planning and planning on a budget. So we've looked through several books and taken notes on our particular interests, and we've chosen vows and ring ceremonies and stuff like that. So we're getting down to the more detailed, thinking type stuff, and we're trying to list music choices for the reception. He wants us to play, "Brown Eyed Girl." Under normal circumstances, that would probably be acceptable, and even a little sweet. However, we seem to have hit a little speed bump. I have blue eyes, ya f***in' moron! Let me say, I've been married before. The marriage lasted about three years, but the relationship lasted till about three weeks after the wedding, and we didn't even have the stress of doing it "right." We just did it at the courthouse. Maybe we knew deep down what a mistake it would turn out to be, and wanted to save the cash. But I really am in love with Ryan, so all the stupid little dreams I've had in my heart since I was six are rushing to the forefront and screaming, "Let us out!!!!!!!" Ryan's list of songs for the reception are about as unromantic as you can get, ranging from INXS and other bands I've never heard of, all the way down to "Superfreak." I said, "Well, that's not all that romantic..." And he was like, "So? The wedding will be over by then, it'll be time to have fun and party." He wants to have a keg at the reception, too. Can't you see it all decked out in ribbons and fresh flowers? Gee, it'll be just like Rhett and Scarlet, I think I'm going to swoon. Right. So I can see all the romance in my head crashing down around my shoulders. Isn't the reception an extension of the wedding? Yes, it should be celebratory and fun, but if you're planning a romantic, elegant wedding, is it okay to leave for a barbeque-at-the-rock-concert reception? That will not only require all of our guests to change their formal clothes for hobo suits, but it will be a shock to the fairy-tale mood that I desperately want to set. Anyone out there who happens to read this and have a real opinion, feel free to help me out, ok?   -- December 13, 2005

Oh my gosh, I am still laughing! I don't even know why I was so mad ... Girls always win anyway, right?